My LifeJournal: Muhd Nabil

Love.

It must be love.

When he makes my day.
When he makes me smile.
When he held my hand
When it hurts me when he cries.
When he makes me cry.

He's my cousin's son.
Four this year.
Out of the many nephews and nieces,
I'm really attached to him.

And today, he almost make me cry.

So he finally started going to Nursery.
The first week went well.
His funny antics and behaviour.
His hyperactive, enthusiastic self.
Screaming "Airport" and "AIA" instead of SIA.

But this week, it was different.
He refused to go to school.
He cried so much.

He was scared when he looked at me.
And he kept saying,
"Nak sekolah rumah Nani"

So i took him to a corner,
Cradled him in my arms and asked what's wrong.
"Teacher suruh sit down"
And he looked so frightened when he said that.
The teacher must be a monster.

He was dead afraid and kept refusing to go to school.
His mom tried to pacify him.
But he just went,
"Tak nak pergi sekolah"
And tears started to collect.
And his nose and eyes turned red.
And his voice trembled.
And he kept repeating the same thing.
He was so afraid.

And i almost cried.

His dad was trying to be sterned, trying to discipline him by "ignoring" him.
He left him at the door.

So i went to him,
Cradled him again.
I could feel that he felt abandoned.
He kissed my cheeks,
like as if he was grateful i was the only one there.

He was looking for some attention.
He asked his dad to help him with his shoes.
When he knows very well how to put them on.
But his dad refused.

And i could see he was trying to be brave.
Brave and strong.
So he put on himself.
And wanted his mom to hold his hands.

I know Nabil.
He's a friendly chap.
A brave and smart one.

But something must have happened.
And it really hurt me, seeing him so scared.
Cowering behind someone.
That had never happen, until today.



And yes, i love him so much.
It hurts.